Sex Brownies

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My mother first made these brownies, originally called “The Ultimate Chocolate Thing” after she found them in TV Guide back in the ‘80s. They use a box mix, which we usually frown upon, but the end result is so overwhelmingly delicious that no one will care. Be warned; once you bring these to a party, you will always be invited, and if you can’t come, people will ask if you’ll make the brownies and they’ll pick them up for you. For a long time, they were simply called “thee brownies.”

Over the years, I’ve tweaked the recipe and changed the name to Sex Brownies, because they don’t happen very often, you have to put effort into them, and you’ll only want to share them with people you love. Also, the sound people make when they taste them for the first time edges on the pornographic.

These brownies make great gifts, and they are terribly addictive. As an added bonus, you can stock up on ingredients and make them when they’re needed. Once you do it a few times, it’s easy, and that’s not a double entendre. Well, maybe it is.

Share the love this holiday season.

Sex Brownies
Serves 24

Ingredients

7 oz. caramels* 
⅓ c. evaporated milk
1 box German chocolate cake mix
¾ c. butter (a stick and a half), room temperature
⅓ c. evaporated milk
12 oz. (approx 2 c.) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate chips** 

Procedure

  1. Unwrap caramels and melt in top of double boiler with ⅓ c. evaporated milk, stirring occasionally.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease a 9x13 metal baking pan. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment (or in a big bowl with a wooden spoon-- do not use a hand mixer for this unless you want to kill it), mix the cake mix, ⅓ c. evaporated milk, and butter until well blended. It will be the consistency of cookie dough.
  3. With wet hands, press about half or two thirds of the dough into the bottom of the greased pan. You need to just cover the bottom of the pan; the layer should be thin but no pan should be visible through it. Bake this layer for six minutes. It will puff up and be a little wet looking still.
  4. Remove the pan from the oven and sprinkle evenly with chocolate chips. Pour the caramel sauce evenly over the chips. Crumble or drop the remaining batter over the top of the caramel. Do not spread anything. You should still see some caramel and chocolate between the batter dollops.
  5. Bake the brownies for 15-20 minutes. Allow to cool completely before cutting.


*Brach and Kraft both work fine, and you’ll need half a bag per recipe -- if you are super industrious, make your own caramel sauce.
**For pure indulgence, use Ghirardelli bittersweet baking chips.



 

About Summerlin Page

With thrift store taste on a Rose’s budget, Summerlin Page has been soaking up Southern culture from a skewed point of view her whole life, turning her into a teacher, writer, editor, cosmetic consultant, and performer. Most comfortable in a kitchen, college classroom (on either side of the desk), or holding a pen, she's a recovering Southern Baptist raised in the country by a roving band of little old ladies. She runs on high octane coffee and loves her “real job,” dogs, doggish cats, candlelight, typewriters, vintage clothing, retro hairstyles, literature, history, kitsch, pole dancing, cemeteries, plaid, diners, autumn, seasonally appropriate alcoholic beverages, glitter, cake, pie, the Lawrence Welk show, pumpkins, college basketball, atrocious holiday decorations, liquid eyeliner, lipstick, the elderly, big earrings, yard art, high-heeled shoes, tourist traps, her family, and Mr. B. She can occasionally be found yapping at www.kitschenbitsch.com.
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